I just got Mother settled in the tub to soak, so I thought I’d tell you how my day was. Today was a very good day, I had a full body awakening! I decided today would be the day I would try to get back everything that I’ve lost over these past few days. I’ve been empty inside, playing “FYE” over and over again from the hard drive of my computer, tears flowing nonstop. I’ve been inconsolable, like my beautiful BB has been ripped from my grasp by haters and homephobes. Well, today is the day I decided to change all that. My daughter Donna had a farewell luncheon today for my 19 year old grandson Ryan, he’s being deployed to Afghanistan for 18 months. I really wish I could have made it, but I had SO much to do today. It’s not like I won’t ever see him again, and if I ever get time I’ll box him up a care package and put in a dozen or so copies of “FYE” for the boys in his unit to enjoy. Spread the love, that’s my motto!!
First thing was first, I went to the Piggly Wiggly to get JoAnn to make me another Glambulge. I figured while I was there, I could pick up a few groceries, and get Mother the creamed corn and butterscotch candies she likes, even though I’m still upset with her for driving my car into the pond and ruining my BB’s CD. I get my cart and head to the canned goods aisle, and all of a sudden I hear the unmistakable sound of “WWFM” playing through the supermarket speakers!!! I couldn’t believe my luck!! I stopped right there by the cans of green beans and early peas, closed my eyes, swaying back and forth, and sang loud and proud for the entire store to hear! As I’m swaying and singing the line “baby you’re beautiful and it’s nothing wrong with you, it’s me I’m a freak” (I’m CONVINCED Adam wrote that line for me!!), I feel a strong tingling sensation down there in my little girl parts. As I’m singing, the tingling turns into a burning ache, and I thrust my hips up against the grocery cart, the need so strong…. “It messed me up, need a second to breathe”…I’m bucking my hips and singing the passion as loud as I can…cans of French cut green beans falling at my feet...my whole body taken over in this beautiful passion…I scream out “Whattya want from me!!!”, my knees weaken and I held onto the cart so tight my hands turned deep red. I slowly open my eyes to see the stock boy staring at me, his mouth hanging wide open and a look of fear in his eyes. As I walked towards him, he dropped his price gun and ran off faster than I had ever seen anyone run! One day he’ll understand this kind of passion! It was AMAZING, Glamdiary! My body is ALIVE!!
I bent down and picked up a couple of cans of creamed corn off the floor and put them in the now well used cart and headed over to the bakery. JoAnn was off today, and they had some halfwit named Larry taking cake orders. I explain to Larry that I want a small cake, just big enough for him to airbrush my BB’s Glambulge on, and I took out the picture of the original cake and a pic of BB’s beautiful Glambulge. I told Larry that BB is an almost Platinum selling (if Operation Platinum is a success!!!) ARTIST, the greatest Rock God in the World, and that I would like his penis bulge airbrushed on a small cake. Larry, the ignorant fool that he was, looked at me like I was a woman who had lost her mind and said “Let me get this straight, you want ME to draw some gay dude’s wanker on a piece of sheet cake for you? What kind of guy do you think I am?” I told him I could happily take my cake order to the Piggly Wiggly on the other side of town, and he reluctantly took my order and the picture of the Glambulge and told me it would be ready tomorrow morning. I told him he had better get it right, and he looked at me sideways almost as if he hated me. How could he hate me? He doesn’t even know me. I think he was just a tad jellous of the magnificence of the Glambulge and probably a bit of a homephobe, too.
So, Glamdiary, I’m well on my way to getting the broken pieces of my life back together. The Glambulge will be done tomorrow, I’m going to look into making another Glampenis Candle, and I have to find a way to restock my supply of “FYE” CD’s. That one might be a tricky one, as I’ve maxed out 2 of Stanley’s credit cards supporting BB. I’ll have to figure something out, Operation Platinum is well underway and I have to do my part!!! Oh, Jesus, Glamdiary, I have to go. Mother somehow got out of the tub and is wandering around the neighbor’s front yard. Mother! MOTHER!! GET BACK IN HERE AND PUT YOUR ROBE ON!! THE NEIGHBORS DON’T WANT TO SEE THAT!! Honestly, this woman is going to put me in the nut house. Why can’t she ever just stay put??
I love you, Glamdiary, and I LOVE YOU BB, my Beautiful Golden Child! My Beautiful BB Golden Child who awakened my body and my soul!! Hopefully I’ll have more happy news after I pick up the new Glambulge from the Piggly Wiggly tomorrow morning!!
Love, Carol
AKA
Glambergranny #2
Glamskank #458
Glambert #255
Glambulge Lover #29
Keeper of the Glamunderpants #77
GlamballsLicker #221
DLS Minion #84
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